I may have a right to cry. Maybe…I have.
He thinks KAT-TUN is his youth, and so do I.
Simply because I love him, I hope I will be allowed to cry.
I love him. I love his performance. I love his appearance. I love his smile.
I love his way of standing on the stage.
As far as I know, he always stands on the stage with his back up straight, seeing straight in front of him. His figure on the stage seems to stand for his one straight principle inside his heart.
He once chose to be an idol. He has loved his job as an idol in the same way as we have loved him. He, however, has never been destined to be an idol. Now, he chose not to be an idol.
I won’t say anything more about this. I never know whether his choice is good or not. But I believe he gave us just one gift, the period of countdown.
It may be hard time for us to see the number of the rest days is decreasing. And it must be still more difficult time for him. He, who has tried to be a perfect entertainer all the time, cannot be perfect in the period. Besides, he will have to listen to many many voices of grief. Sometimes he could be a target of criticism. And yet we still need it, and he gave it to us. We all love him too much to accept his missing right now.
The countdown is for the future. At least we can cry. At least I can write this kind of article. It could be the only one relief for us. We desparately need it so that we can go straight to the future.
Clearly, his decision has nothing to do with My Dear's, I mean, Kota's career, but I cannot help thinking about him. When will the time come? Honestly, I’m always wondering about that.
It's a paradox. Now, I really look forward to seeing Kota in Johnny’s countdown concert. I’m waiting for it coming, but I don’t want the day to come so soon.
Every time I’m waiting for the day of the concert, I don’t know what this countdown is for. Is it for the next stage, or for the doom day?
When Kota decided to remain in Johnny's even though he became alone in his unit, I felt happy.
At the same time, I also felt uncertainty.
I suppose I should not count down. I should count up his smile. I will count up his smile forever.
But if, if the time come...
I will need the period of countdown. I'm anxious to stand up, seeing straight for the future, with the countdown 3, 2, 1.